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Grindr hook up and Prep

Sep 12, 2017


This was a rare instance for me, but I gave oral sex literally to a "stranger" I met on Grindr. I found him super attractive so I went along with it. We talked for a few days on the app, he said he's negative and tested two months ago. However, you can't really trust anyone. I'm on Prep for 9 months, take my pill daily. He did cum in my mouth (most I spit out). Now I'm worried of HIV, can you provide your thoughts?

Response from Mr. Jacobs


Congrats on having a pleasurable experience. I'm just sorry it was accompanied afterward by so much worry. Based on the events you described, there is zero risk of having acquired HIV from this fun encounter. Here's why:

(1) You say you've been on PrEP daily for 9 months. Daily use of PrEP brings risk of acquiring HIV to nearly zero (

(2) Even without PrEP it is nearly impossible to acquire HIV from oral sex. The CDC considers oral sex to be a negligible risk on their estimator tool, which you can access at .

Based on the evidence there is no medical reason to be concerned about HIV here. However, it sounds to me like you, and most gay/bisexual men, have been conditioned to be worried and afraid of pleasurable sexual encounters, especially more causal connections on social apps. More than thirty years of messaging have instructed us to fear our desires, and fear other people's bodies. I hope that you can use this experience as an opportunity to explore where this worry about HIV is coming from, and change your mind.

When I speak to others about "PrEP" I say it stands for more than the "Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis," but also for "Proactive Responsible Empowered Pleasure." Inherent is this idea that you have a right to information that can help you feel empowered about how you experience sexual pleasure with others, free of shame, stigma, or fear. For more information, please join us over at the international Facebook group at :

PreP bare- withdraw method risk
I'm an uncut top on prep!

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