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condom breaking... please help!
Mar 5, 2014

Hi, I've been reading some of the answers on the board, but I guess every case is different, so here's my story. I met this man yesterday, we tried to have protected anal sex. He put on a condom, and started pushing to get inside me, and when he pushed harder, we heard the condom breaking. He stopped immediately, put on another condom, since he wanted to try again, but I totally panicked, and left. Now I'm very worried. He didn't insert his penis fully, I didn't feel any pain, only very firm pushing, and I wonder if I was at risk. I must also say I have a hemorrhoid, which I guess makes it all worse. Since it happened yesterday, I can still try to get PEP, would you recommand it? Also, is it safe for me to have sex with my wife, or should I wait until I get tested? This is something I don't really want to discuss with her, as you can guess, but of course I can't let her get infected if I was at risk. Thanks.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi The risk is incredibly low. Condoms are effective in the prevention of HIV transmission, as long as they are used correctly and do not break or slip off. Also if lubricant is used it must be water based. HIV transmission can only occur when there is a direct and prolonged exposure to body fluids, semen, vaginal fluid, blood or mother to child through breast feeding. This most commonly occurs through unprotected vaginal or anal sex and sharing of needles. Casual contact, sharing utensils, drinking after someone, etc are not way for HIV transmission to occur. If you go to this link HIV101 it will take you to our page that talks about the ways in which HIV is and is not transmitted.

Because you stopped right away and changed condoms and even though you tried having sex again the fact that you had a condom on gave you the protection that you needed.

As for having sex with your wife, there are other sexually transmitted infections out there that are much easier to get than HIV and easier to transmit. I would recommend that you get tested for all of the STI's most especially since you are experiencing interactions outside of your marriage. Keeping both yourself and your wife STI free is important.

Be well and stay safe, Shannon



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