Is this risk negligible?

Feb 28, 2014

Hi,

I am a gay man who tends to be a bottom. I had sex with a guy like 9 months ago. I am aware he likes to bareback, and I have never done it, that made me a bit nervous about his status. I performed oral sex on him. He was a bit aggressive and to be honest I felt a bit of blood taste in my mouth. I had gingivitis. He never ejaculate though. Later we were in bed and he wanted to penetrate me. He begin pushing without a condom but he never went in. I stopped him, stood up, put a condom on him and lubed it up and we proceeded. I know I got sick shortly after, like a week with a flu, but I don't remember the exact time. Now today, I feel I have my lymph nodes on my neck swollen. I also got an ear infection which is now cured. I am very nervous. I know testing is the only way to know. But, do you think the risk here was negligible?

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your question,

I can understand what you're talking about. When risk is anywhere in the picture, it's so tempted to look for symptoms because we think "if I'm sick, I should feel something." Unfortunately, with HIV that's not the case.

The situation you're talking about is in the low risk category because it was unprotected oral sex. He didn't enter you anally, so no risk from that. Lesions or any kind of wounds in the mouth can push that risk up, but it'll still be in the low risk category.

At the same time, low risk is still risk. So we would encourage you to get tested just like all sexually active people should. But keep in mind that the odds are on your side, even if the guy was HIV positive, oral sex is still going to be low risk.

Hope this helps,

Erik