Feb 23, 2014
I have been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but I don't know my status (yes I know, I'm a bad gay). We have been sexually active for almost that long and neither of us (I'm the bottom) have experienced any symptoms before now. About 5 days ago we engaged in oral sex and I ejaculated on his hand which had a healing cut on it. It was scabbed over, and not fresh. Well now he had a fever with chills last night and a headache today. Again, I've never felt symptoms...could we both now be infected? I'm really freaking out because if he got it from me I will feel like such a terrible awful human being. Please help.
| Response from Ms. Southall
Hello! You are not a bad gay! Just one that needs to get tested and so does your partner. Not from what you experienced from one another but you may have experienced prior to. The risk of HIV transmission with oral sex is extremely low. It is even reasonable to state that for the person receiving oral sex (that is on whom oral sex is being performed) the risk of acquisition of the virus is practically zero. For the person placing his or her mouth on someone else's genitals, the risk may be slightly higher but still very very low. Theoretically, obvious cuts, wounds, sores, or infections in the mouth could raise this risk. But relatively speaking this is still considered to be a low-risk sexual activity as the mouth is not a hospitable place for the HIV virus. If you do have HIV, ejaculating on his scabbed over wound would not present an issue for HIV transmission. Also symptoms would not occur this quickly from that. Are you using protection for intercourse? Condoms are effective in the prevention of HIV transmission, as long as they are used correctly and do not break or slip off. Also if lubricant is used it must be water based. He most likely has the flu or a cold.
But you know the answer, the only way to know is to be tested. It should be something you both do for one another. That way as the relationship continues you both know your status and can keep each other healthy!
Be well and stay safe, Shannon
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