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Very worried and feel extremly guilty

Nov 21, 2013

Didn't include all details in my first question . Im sorry for asking again.

I am undetectable (positive). The man I am dating is assumed negative and i haven't disclosed my status yet. Few weeks ago he received oral sex from me ( fellatio) and I from him ( anal cunnilingus) . I had no open sores in my mouth. Recently he has been under alot of stress and a little depressed and now has the flu. What is the risk I gave him HIV ? and his flu diagnoses are actually symptoms ?

Thank you your help is much appreciated

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your question,

Using symptoms is not a good way to know if someone is HIV.

Oral sex is low risk for HIV. When a person with HIV is undetectable (with no other STD present) then the risk is that much lower. Rimming (analingus) is not risky.

We still encourage regular testing for all sexually active people, just to make sure of HIV/STD status.

I understand that the sex is already done. Perhaps you're worried that you may have infected your partner and are looking for answers that don't involved revealing your HIV status yet? When you reveal your status is up to you, but if you're going to have sex with someone, it is very very important to discuss risk and status before sex. Both of you sharing this information can make sure you're armed with enough information to keep both of you safe.

Hope this helps!


Scared of transmission
protected vaginal and protected oral sex.

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