Soulmate wants future with HIV positive woman
Nov 16, 2013
I am hiv positive,48 years old and in very good shape and health. He is 35 years old and negative. He wants me and I want him. We are soulmates. He wants to marry me. How do I tell him that I am positive and not run him off?
Response from Ms. Southall
Hi Disclosure is one of the hardest, if not the hardest things we have to deal with. I have learned over the years that the direct way is the best way. Sitting down with him and letting him know how much he means to you and how much you want for this relationship to move forward and because of that it is important that you share something about you that only those that deserve to know you share with. Also remember that he will mirror you in how you tell him. If you are crying or upset he will respond that way as well. If you tell him with care and concern and that you are sharing this piece of you because of the feelings that you are having for him he can only respond back in a caring way. The thing to remember for yourself is that however he reacts, that is his story, his life. It has nothing to do with you. So if he decides that this is not something that he doesn't want to deal with it has nothing to do with you, it is how he has chosen to deal with it. If he responds with wanting to remain in your life and pursuing this relationship than the next part of the conversation is how to keep one another safe. Also know that you being on medication and keeping your viral load undetectable reduces the risk of transmission incredibly. Another topic of conversation could be with your health care provider to talk about PrEP, your partner taking Truvada to prevent transmission.
I hope your conversation with him goes well I will send positive thoughts to you!!!
Be well and stay safe, Shannon
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