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I am begging for help please.

Oct 27, 2013

Hi dr. I am a 30 years male from middle east living in nigeria. I was having unprotected sex with a girl for 3 years. We did not make the hiv test since More than 8month. But now I discovered that she is hiv positive. I was so scared and I had the test the next day she did hers, I was negative than after 2 weeks I did it again and also negative. My last test was one month after last sex we did. I am so scared. After I knew her conditcondition I couldn't sleep or eat or work. I start having headache that last for 15days without any other symptoms. Is it possible that I will test positive later? I don't last much time in sex before I release but to please her I give her oral sex to make her cum before I sex her. Is this can make the exposure more likely? Is it possible that she had false positive coz she was having menstrual problems and she was taking some drugs for it? Sorry for my poor english and I pray to hear an answer fro u soon. Please help I am terrified. Thank you.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi I will try my best to answer your question. The guidelines for testing are to be initially tested 3 weeks post exposure then again at 90 days.If there are no other exposures during this time the results are considered conclusive. It is obviously a good sign to have a negative result at the one month mark you should really be tested again in another 60 days or so. After this you will know your status. Then for the future you should first ensure that you girlfriend is in care and on treatment and that you use condoms to protect yourself from being infected.

Also important to know is that the risk of HIV transmission with oral sex is extremely low. It is even reasonable to state that for the person receiving oral sex (that is on whom oral sex is being performed) the risk of acquisition of the virus is practically zero. For the person placing his or her mouth on someone else's genitals, the risk may be slightly higher but still very very low. Theoretically, obvious cuts, wounds, sores, or infections in the mouth could raise this risk. But relatively speaking this is still considered to be a low-risk sexual activity as the mouth is not a hospitable place for the HIV virus. Please note that other sexually transmitted infections are readily spread via oral contact and you may need to be checked for these.

Continue getting your testing done and continue supporting your girlfriend through this.

Be well and stay safe, Shannon

hiv concerns
women to women

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