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I've been through enough. Want it to end
Oct 15, 2013

Unprotected vaginal sex over a year ago. Since then everything about me is changing. I'm losing weight as in muscle, very light stools, constant roast cheeks, high blood pressure, folliculitis, white coated tongue, extreme eye floaters/burred vision, constant muscle fatigue and involuntary twitching constantly, constant sinus drainage and it's white like post nasal drip or something, swollen lymph nodes, discomfort in urethra, semen is very strong smelling along with urine. I've tested negative to all stds, hiv, hep, and htlv out to past six months. I still have these symptoms and hiv is the only virus that matches from unprotected sex. The only thing the found a month after was I had a positive monospot test. This isn't mono. Something is killing me so I tested for hiv again at almost 10 months via antibody test. Negative again. I'm in that very very small percentage that takes longer than a year to develop antibodies arnt I? I've had suicidal thoughts due to trusting these tests and sleeping with my girlfriend again after the six month test, now I believe I infected her. Your guys are experts in stds and such, especially hiv like I have so why would I have not produced antibodies by now and am in a rapid course to death? Please help with what this could be. I know all about the 90 day stuff as I've read that's usually the answers you give. I tested way past that and the six month guideline, yet I'm still dying.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi I'm not sure what more we can tell you beyond the ongoing support and consistency in our answers to you. You do not have HIV from what you have told us, from your testing history and you know the testing guidelines. 90 days and you have conclusive results and it hasn't change months after your possible exposure. At this point I would really recommend not only following up with your health care provider and find some mental health counseling. I really believe sitting down with someone and talking about all of these feelings and the weight you are feeling is crucial to your being able to move on with your life. There is great value in sitting down in person with someone to talk, face to face and be able to receive information and tools to help you deal with all that is going on. Especially with the words you used around suicide. Whatever is going on, if you find the right person or people to talk with, you can move beyond. Know that you are valued and loved by the people in your life. Please find someone to talk with in person!

Be well and stay safe, Shannon



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