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poz bf stopped taking meds. how safe is this for both of us?

Oct 8, 2013

My partner had been hiv+ for 6 years. He's been on meds to treat his infection for about 5 he says. He recently lost his qualifications to get his medicines through the state and we cannot afford to buy them without insurance. His viral loads were undetectable and he felt great. But he's been of his meds for 2 months. I'm worried about his well being, that he might get sick or I may bring something home like a flu or cold and get him sick, and wondering about how safe is oral sex with him now that his viral loads are beginning to rise. I hope I don't sound ignorant about this, I'm just worried. Phrase any info or advice you can give me would be appreciated.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there,

Thanks for writing in. I'm sorry to hear that both you and your partner are having to deal with a situation like this.

It's understandable that you are concerned about bringing home the cold or flu but even if he were to get a cold or flu his body would fight it off just the same as you or I would. At the two-month mark it is unlikely that his immune system has been compromised that much.

Oral sex is a safer-sex activity that you can engage in without much concern. You could certainly use a condom if it makes the two of you feel better, but I don't think it's necessary. As an added precaution, try to avoid brushing or flossing your teeth two-hours prior to engaging in oral sex.

You can safely engage in anal sex by using a condom.

I'm not sure if you have already done this, but I would suggest making an appointment to see a case manager at your nearest HIV/AIDS service organization. They can help you find alternate resources to help pay for your partner's HIV medication. If you live in a rural area, you may need to travel to a larger urban area where resources are available. This link will take you to a listing of HIV/AIDS services organizations by state. If you don't find anything in this listing, an internet search may provide additional results.

Please keep me posted on your progress with securing treatment for your partner. Not the words "Follow-up" in your subject line. Good luck!

In health,


Second time asking- Please reply me....
Justifies concern?

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