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unprotected oral witth boyfriend

Sep 10, 2013

Am 27yrs hiv poz female in nj and I have my boyfriend have been messing with. he fingers me a lot and we do a lot of deep kissing. am undetectable and am wandering if there is any chance I can infect him. its hard for me to tell him bc he really don't want to commit with me.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there,

Thanks for writing in. Please know in most states you are required by law to disclose your HIV status to your sexual partner.

I know that disclosing your HIV status can be a very difficult thing to do, but if this relationship is going to last, you're going to have to tell him. Keep in mind that he may be upset because you didn't tell him ahead of time. If he is unwilling to commit now, I highly doubt this will make things any better. I don't want to sound negative about the situation, but I do want you to be prepared for what might possibly happen.

With this partner or any, using a condom for each and every act of penetrative vaginal or anal sex is the best way to protect your partner from HIV and many other STD's. Nothing you have done with your current partner carries any real risk of HIV transmission.

Bottom line: If someone isn't OK with the fact that you are HIV positive then they aren't the right person for you. The right person will love you for who you are, and your HIV status won't stop them from being in a loving and committed relationship with you.

In health,


scared to death ! help.

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