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HIV risk and anxiety. (oral/anal)

Jul 29, 2013

Hello Dr., Im male and recently(2 days ago) had anal sex (protected) with a man I met online and he stated that he was disease free. He couldve lied, however. Im concerned because we engaged in unprotected oral sex before (no cum, hardly tasted any pr-cum) and also have read different opinions on the effectiveness of condoms (it didn't slip or break). Also I had shaved my pubic area a couple of hours before, (read this can increase the chance of getting HIV). Can you tell me if I'm high risk? I'm really worried. The other thing I wanted to let you know and why I asked you is that this is the second time this happens to me. I usually only engage in sexual activities in a monogamous relationship, however 3 years ago I took a test at 3, 6 and 9 months after an unprotected exposure, all neg. Took me a little over a year to let it go and convince myself it was impossible that after the last test I could still turn out positive (even my dr. told me so). I had no risky behavior after that, until this past weekend. I can't stop searching for info and I don't know what to trust anymore. I feel so anxious I'm starting to feel ill, can't sleep, can't focus. Sometimes I wonder if I'm at real risk or if I'm expecting some kind of "punishment" to kill the guilt of not having more control over myself. Thank you in advance for your time.

Response from Dr. Hightow-Weidman

Hello there Condoms are very effective if used properly for preventing HIV so would not consider you to be at high risk for acquiring HIV. Oral sex is also a very inefficient way to acquire HIV. The mouth does not contain the type of cells that HIV likes to infect. If you remain worried you can certainly get tested for HIV. By 90 days after the encounter practically all (97%) infections are detected by antibody testing alone. Feel free to browse our extensive articles on oral sex which are updated regularly.

If you still feel significant guilt, my best advice would be to talk to a mental health professional. Take care. LHW

Condom slip off while coming out

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