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Will he come back?

May 26, 2013

I've been with a wonderful man for about 6 months and we've been getting along so well. I also think we've both fallen for one another. Now the problem is I hadn't disclosed my hiv status to him because I feared losing him and didn't know what his reaction would be. I finally conjured up the courage and told him and he freaked out. He told me he was worried sick and hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks now. I have apologised and reassured him that our sexual activities carried no risks as I'm on meds and am undetectable. He performed oral on me a few times and has inserted without a condom a few times before actually wearing a condom after me insisting but I never came and was always dry. Do you think he will come back or is this it. Am worried as I love this man with all my heart. It's my first disclosure experience.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi Disclosing status is the scariest aspect of living with HIV. Because we are never sure how someone is going to respond. I can't tell you what his response will be and if he will ever return, but what I can tell you is to learn from this experience. I had so many different experiences of disclosing my status and the biggest lesson I learned was to disclose my status prior to getting my heart truly involved with someone. I had a 3 date rule, that if things were progressing and we are liking one another that I would disclose it then. I hope that he decides to come back, know that if he does chose not to that it has nothing to do with you! It is how he is deciding to deal with it, it hurts now but in the long run if he choses not to come back he is not someone you want to have in your life for the long run. You want someone in your life who will completely love you unconditionally.

Be well!


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Herpes/HIV coinfection

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