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Help Me please worried out of my mind
May 1, 2013

Hello Shannon, Am in a mixed-status Relationship He (+) and am (-). I was with him for 6yrs and we always got tested. one day he was about to start his dialysis and they told him that he was (+). That was the worst day of my life. I was tested 3 months and 6 months and I also did test in between and every single test came back negative (thank god). is that possible me being (-)? even if we had unprotected sex many times. I have fear that it can be in my body and still not show. they put me on medications for a whole month and after that they re-did the test and it was (-) Moving forward 6 months later. he was tested and they said his viral load was undetectable. So we took a big step and we had sex. with a condom. But am still worried. is it ok for me to have sex with him? Are there any special condoms that we should use. Please help me I really need some one to talk and your advise will greatly be appreciated. Also can we have children? and how can I go about that? I have lots of people telling me that am crazy to be with him my family is completely against it. And I just need help...

Thank you very much Shannon

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi A lot tell you in the answer to your question but I promise all the answers are positive! First, testing guidelines are to be tested 90 days after exposure and if no other exposures during this time the results are conclusive. Another thing to know is that through lots of studies we now know that someone with an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission reduces by up to 96% and put a condom on and you have the protection that you need. As far as children, yes you can have them! There are a few things in this department, first you can always be artificially inseminated, there is a procedure called sperm washing where they can clean up your partners sperm and free it from HIV. and I do know some couples who have chosen to have unprotected sex again while the viral load is undetectable and have gotten pregnant this way. The most important thing I would recommend is talking to his healthcare provider and a specialist in OBGYN to help you through this decision making process. My husband is negative and I'm positive, he gets tested about every six months and we are just careful and have conversations around our intimate lives.

Be well and stay safe and happy, Shannon



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