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Mar 2, 2013

Hi Shannon,

I always read your response to individual like myself who is worried to death. Like you, I too is in a realtioship with a HIV+ man. You are wrong when you said you can have a normal sex life with a positive person. Talking to this man for almost two year, I discovered he was positive. He did not share this info with me.After deny it, he finally told me he had been HIV+ for two years and undectable.He as never risk my life.Alway procted. To make a long story short, last December, while having sex the condom broke. I went to the ER and was given PEP.The doctor informed me that since he was undectable and on meds I would not have contracted HIV. A month later, again,one night the condom broke, he immediately replace it and as he was about to come he pulled out, again we discoverd yet again the condom broke. I did not went and get PEP beacuse of what the doctor told me.

Now I'm here worried to death because I'm now experiencing symptoms such as sore throat,headache and muscleache. I cant talk with this individaul because he said I always let him feel guilty and remaind him about what he have.When we talk about it we alway end up argueing. Now I am in my delima and have no one to talk to. I don't want to end the realtionship with him, but cant depressing my self all the time and he is not able to communicate with me about this sickness. I decided to go and get tested Monday I cant wait, it as now been a month.

Thank You

Response from Ms. Southall

HI I don't agree, my sex life is very normal with my HIV negative husband. It is all about your attitude and acceptance. Many times the condom breaks because it was put on wrong. The doctor was also correct in stating the risk of HIV transmission from someone on medication and with an undetectable viral load decreases by up to 96% and with a condom decreases even more so.

I would work on putting the condom on correctly. Ensuring first the expiration date, when rolling the condom on , ensure the tip of the condom is pinched off to allow a reservoir for ejaculation to accumulate. Throughout sex ensuring the condom is on and where it is supposed to be and then as soon as ejaculation occurs then take the condom off and wash.

Be well and stay safe, Shannon

How do I use a condom correctly
pleas i cant even sleep im so nervous

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