Im new to this hiv thing. but i am un detectable and take my meds daily but i have a boyfriend and we finally had sex and yes i told him im hiv postive, but the condom broke we didnt realize till afterwards, Should he be tested now,,We only had intercourse for 5 minutes. Im scared to have sex because it seems so easy to transmit. Please help ty. And can he go down on me or is that out of the question now, lol

Hi there:

Thanks for writing in. I'm glad to hear you are taking your HAART daily. Please continue to do so! Adherence to your daily regimen is so important to successfully living long-term with HIV.

HIV is harder to transmit that you think. Since you have an undetectable viral load, you were the receptive partner, and this was a one-time occurrence - the change of transmission is fairly low. I would not be concerned.

Please continue to use a new condom for each and every act of penetrative sex. It's one of the best ways to protect yourself against HIV and many other STD's. In the future, try to be more aware of the status of the condom. It doesn't need to kill the mood either. You can easily reach down during sex and give your partners penis a little stroke. You'll be able to access whether or not the condom is intact, and I'm sure your partner will appreciate the extra stimulation too.

I would also encourage your partner to be tested for HIV every three months, if only as a precautionary measure.

Be sure to check out the following sections here on our website:

1. Just Diagnosed

2. Prevention

3. Mixed-HIV-Status Forum

I hope this information helps. I've been HIV positive for over 11 years. It does get easier. I promise. Don't be afraid. You are entitled to a healthy and satisfying sex life.

In health,

Richard