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Same old question about fingering and oral but more specific
Jan 12, 2013

So here is my situation: 1,5-2 weeks before having sex with my female friend (maybe 1 week ago but not less than that for sure) I was punching a boxing bag pretty hard without protection gloves and hit middle knuckle of my index fingeruntil the skin came off and it started to bleed. The bleeding stopped itself in a couple of minutes, I healed it a little bit with something like peroxide and forgot about it. Then, 3-4 days before the sexual act with the girl i was hitting the bag again but didn't get my finger injured(it wasn't bleeding). So, at the moment of me fingering her my injury looked like a small dry cut, visually not red.

So, first question: could it pose risk? I've read a lot on this forum that no, it can't, but I also have read on some other HIV related websites where it was stated that "the virus can't enter through healthy skin, but skin with open cuts and sores may pose a risk"(I can give links to some of these sites if needed).

Second question is: if there is a risk, does it go up if I did it for several times(3-4 times).

Third question: I was pretty drunk on first time doing her a cunnilingus, and on the second one I had hangover, could it increase the risk? Because even though my mouth wasn't dried-out like in situation with so called "cotton-mouth" in cannabis and some other recreational drug users it still was more dry than usual(could this cause tears and abrasions?) , and especially on the hangover day, the saliva was really white(does this mean that the agents destroying HIV were less present there than in the saliva of non-intoxicated person)? also could cigarettes smoked an hour before the act create microscopic injuries in the mouth that provide direct access to the bloodstream?

And the last question: can chlorine and other disenfectant agents present in the indoor swimming pool cause the skin layer to become more weak or just to irritate it? what I mean is, after all those sexual acts I went to a swimming in couple days and the next day after that I noticed that my place of injury on the finger(middle knuckle of the index finger) became more red and when I pressed it with a napkin it left blood spots on it and also the clear fluid was present. But I guess I even know that answer to the last question is yes because if chlorine irritates the eyes and makes it red then why can't it do the same with the skin on the other parts of the human body?

Sorry for such a big question , I guess I shouldn't be even be worried because we didn't have any type of intercourse and I really seem paranoid, but the thought that something could happen just drives me crazy. Thank you all for your work that you do to help people to overcome their anxiety! You all are great! Hope to hear a reply soon.

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your questions,

I think you summed up what my response is in your own words: "I guess I shouldn't be even be worried because we didn't have any type of intercourse and I really seem paranoid, but the thought that something could happen just drives me crazy."

I get it though, sometimes our logical mind says No Risk, but then our emotions are still high.. Sometimes this is because we track down more and more details to our "risky situations" that feel like they make a situation more risky.. but remember: almost always we can figure out if there's risk based on a really simple formula.

To get HIV, there needs to be a blood fluid that can transmit it coming out of someone's body and going immediately/directly inside of your body.

This did not happen when you fingered your female friend. Your cut was not fresh and open. Therefore not a way inside your body. Remember that the skin is a super powerful defense against many diseases. There are no cases of getting HIV through skin unless there is a significant rip/tear/cut in the skin like having a knife cutting you open! Chlorine irritates your skin, but it doesn't open it. Your previous cut opened your skin.. and with the chlorine and you messing with it, it's no surprise that you bled a little. You forced it to bleed by squeezing it while it was weak and healing. Cunnilingus itself is extremely low risk for HIV. Another way to say that is we really don't see that happening very often.

Instead of trying to examine your risk, your energy would be better spent examining your anxiety. I know that's tough, but when you're ready, there are resources around to help with that.

Hope this helps!

Erik

P.S. I say this to be helpful: After reading your questions, they really are the "same old question about fingering and oral"



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