Can I expose myself
Dec 26, 2012
I am from SA but work in the UK been diagnosed with HIV in 2010 March since then been taking medication I started with Atripla which I changed this year 2012 0ct because of bad dreams I was having,now I am on Truvada,Norvir,Reyataz which I take once a day my viral load is undetectable,and my CD count is 317,my worry and my question is I just find a very loving man we have been talking for 3months without him being pushy on me we are taking it very slowly he is talking about going with me to SA about getting married about everything you may think of.Right now we are planning a holiday both of us ofcourse I am going to use the condoms but I am really afraid of loosing him I am not prepared of telling anybody my status because once I tell him its a sure case he is going to live me and look somewhere else.I use to read that if you are HIV and undetactable chances of passing the virus are too slim how truthful is this.Please help me how am I going to tell him as we are going for holiday for the whole week I have to hide my medication as well for him not to see them I feel like killing myself but I am a coward to do so guilty conscious is killing me,please help
Response from Ms. Southall
Hi Disclosing your HIV status is one of the hardest things to do. I know for myself it was difficult. But the end result of this is having people in your life that support and love you no matter what. Telling someone that you are thinking about a life long committed to is most important and you should ask yourself, if it were the other way around wouldn't you want to have them tell you? It's called trust and it's called having the right person in your life and not making compromises. Telling my husband was difficult and having him take the few days to think about it seemed longer than waiting for my test results. I have had some folks that have opted not to stay around or treat me completely different, those are the folks that we don't want in our lives.
Tell someone in a matter of fact manner, don't be upset and/or crying as this is the emotion they will emulate. You want them to know that you have this under control and as long as the communication is calm and collect you may find yourself surprised. If your partner does in fact bolt or have a poor reaction then you need to see the big picture, was this someone you wanted in your life? We have enough to deal with and should have someone walking beside us that gets it, understands it, is willing to learn more about it and most of all still love us and will not treat us any differently.
Be well my friend and best wishes!
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