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Scared about HIV and Herpes risk

Dec 22, 2012

Hello, recently I went to Bangkok and made the worst decision of my life (with male friends who influenced me) had protected sex with a thai prostitute at an established massage parlour. Even the the sex was protected, I contracted herpes at the base of my penis where the condom didn't cover. The condom didn't break and I saw no blood or anything however as I got herpes I am scared stiff that I may have also contracted HIV. I have just done my first blood test at 21 days after. I know this won't be enough and I will need to get tested again at 3 and 6 months, but I suffer OCD as it is and the anxiety is killing me. I am also concerned as I have children and a wife and due to my guilt I confessed everything and am lucky that I was forgiven and am being supported. But I am worried about transmitting HSV type 2 by touching or kissing my children, even though I only had a mild outbreak around the base of my penis and pubis bone area where the condom didn't cover. I have been to several doctors seeking advice, some were quite judgmental and said there was a significant risk I could have HIV etc.

I am so scared and anxious as given I got the herpes, I felt it may indeed be possible I got HIV too. I need some help and answers from professionals, the doctors here in Australia do not come across HIV cases often where I live in a quiet town, so I think they assume the worst. Any advice would be appreciated. Right now I am ashamed and can't look at myself in the mirror without panic and disgust.

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your questions,

I'm sorry to hear about all the confusing information you're getting! Let's try to straighten all this out:

There is no risk of HIV from you're describing. HIV and Herpes are transmitted in completely different ways. HIV is from certain body fluids going from one body into another (the condom stopped that!). Herpes is from aggressive direct skin-to-skin contact (from the places the condom didn't cover).

So HIV risk wasn't possible.

As for transmitting Herpes, it's only possible for someone to get it from you if they touch your infected area (the base of your penis). The only person who's going to touch that area is someone having sex with you. So for your wife, you'll want to make sure you pay attention to when your outbreaks happen, consider taking medication to make you less infectious, make sure you don't irritate the area (that could help an outbreak happen).

Hope this helps!


P.S. If you have any other questions, please send them our way!

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