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Is it safe if a guy rubbed his penis against my butt?

Oct 28, 2012

I had a hook up recently with a guy. Nothing extreme happened; just some oral and messing around. He then put his penis close to my anus that it was essentially rubbing against it. We were dry humping, if that's what's it called. It still hurt a bit so I'm sure that the head must have gone in. He didn't have a condom on which is why I didn't let him go all the way in. So my question is Is it safe if a guy rubbed his penis against my butt? Might I have a disease if he wasn't clean?

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there:

When you say "wasn't clean" - do you mean if he hadn't taken a shower? Or did you mean "clean" as in referring to him having an STD, such as HIV? I only ask because as someone who is HIV positive, I certainly don't consider myself "dirty".

If his penis was inside of you unprotected, then there was a risk for HIV transmission. Also, some diseases like Syphilis are transmitted via skin-to-skin contact. Overall, given the situation you are describing, it does not sound like an extremely high-risk situation. I do not think you need to test for this situation in particular, you can wait until your next regularly scheduled round of STD screenings. I suggest that anyone who is sexually active be tested for all STD's including HIV at least once a year, and preferably ever six months.

In the future, you need to be more aware of what is happening during sex. Either someone's penis is inside of you or it isn't. You can't have any of this "he was rubbing his penis on me, but it hurt, so it must have been inside of me". Either someone is inside of you or they are not. If they are, they need to have a condom on.

In health,


I kissed a HIV+ guy
Further enlightenment Mr. Cordova

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