I had a recent encounter with my boyfriend where we had oral sex (mutual, but he did not ejaculate in my mouth) and he teased my anus, but there was no penetration, although he did put a lot of pressure down there (I am a virgin and I'm pretty sure there was no penetration but I can't be 100% sure). He rubbed his penis against my anus for a few minutes and I'm afraid that maybe his precum got on the pink outer part of my anus and that he somehow transmitted HIV that way, I didn't see any precum or feel any, and he didn't ejaculate on me or anywhere around my anus. The only reason I am concerned is I found out he cheated on me and I'm afraid he may be infected with HIV or something. I am prone to bleeding gums/ulcers but they were not bleeding while I was giving him oral sex. Am I at risk for HIV transmission?

Hi there:

Thanks for writing in. Bleeding gums and mouth ulcers would increase the risk. However, overall, I would not consider the risk to be extremely high. The likelihood of transmission from him rubbing his penis on your rectum would be low as well.

Have you discussed the specifics of the infidelity with your boyfriend? I would want to know whether or not unprotected penetrative sex took place. If not, transmission of HIV would be fairly low. If he had penetrative sex without a condom, then I would consider that to be a higher risk situation. Other STD's can be transmitted via skin-to-skin contact. I would suggest testing for all STD's, including HIV at the three month mark. Good luck.

In health,

Richard