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Vers sex with HIV + Guy

Sep 30, 2012

Ok, I've been reading these forums constantly going insane I know the risks etc and that I'm an idiot for having unprotected sex. Well, it was my first time ever and I asked the guy if he could put on a condom and he said he doesn't use them and he just got tested and was clean. (he showed me the results) most of our "sex" was oral on eachother, rimming and oral sex to the penis. He didn't precum in my mouth or anything I would've tasted it. And he had no sores or blood etc in his mouth. So I tried riding him briefly bareback and it hurt like hell so I stopped. It was for I want to say 1 minute. Then I proceeded to "top" him bareback, once again I know how stupid that was. He rode me very a minute or so very brief because it hurt. Then we went back to oral, once again no precum from his end. I also didnt feel any precum in my anus from when he topped me. I went to the bathroom and literally sat for 20 mins pushing out to see I felt nothing. Only my rectal fluid. I could tell it was anal fluid by the conistency & feeling of it. Sorry if I'm going too in depth but I'm a very thorough person. Ok so we went back and started kissing again, he topped me raw again it didn't hurt this bad cause he used actual lotion, like I want to say suave. Yikes I know, but we had no lube. He topped me like that for just a little longer than he did the first time which was still very brief. Then I tried topping again but the fear took over and my penis kept going soft every time he tried to sit on it, and then I tried topping him missionary style and it kept going soft so we just stopped. I didn't precum or cum at all in him and he said he never precums which I can attest to, he didn't even cum at all. No bodily fluis were exchanged. Besides I guess his mucus membrane rubbing on my penis briefly but everytime after I pulled out cause I was tired he gave me oral for a while, I don't wanna say licking the fluid off but I guess that's what it felt like...SO the real scare comes the next day, he tells me he was called into his schools infirmary that morning (which his tweets verify cause it showed his actual location was the infirmary) and there were two parts to the test. And the second was HIV, my heart fell through my chest, I felt so dumb and irresponsible because my condoms were right there in the open but the guy kept pressuring me & insisting he was clean. I was already a little sick before having sex with him (headaches, stuffy nose, drainage)I get sinus infections everytime the seasons/weather changes. And I read something about primary infection. But I also know I get sinus infections around this time, deep winter, spring, and summer. It's something I expect. But of course this syncs up with right after I'd been exposed to HIV. I don'd have diarrhea sore throat, or swolen lymph nodes. Just the above symptoms, I also hadn't eaten because I was so stressed and the mucus in my throat heavily drained into my stomach cause brief stomach pain today, and my stool was green. At first I thought it was diarrhea which is a symptom of the primary HIV infection but I ruled it out as bile my body produced since the only thing in my stomach besides one meal prior was drained mucus. I'm driving myself crazy, I know the risk is still there, but no bodily fluids were exchanged I can pretty much guarantee. Please don't scold me too bad doc, I know i screwed up bad and I just went out and bought tons of condoms and lube. I will never slip up, I'm the type of guy that learns once. Sorry for going on so long, this happened on Sunday the 23rd all my friends are concerned but hopeful and are taking me to get a test a week after exposure, then I'm going 3 weeks after exposure, and again months after. But I want to know my chances since no bodily fluids were exchanged no one came at all not even after we stoppped the actual act of topping & bottoming I was just too fearful. I need some type of hope, besides the fact that I know I screwed up and theres a high risk I probably have it. Just please point me to percentages etc. I need to ease my mind just a bet. This is my first exposure to HIV, I heard it's possible to get it after one exposure but not as high as multiple exposures. Ok doc I'm done babbling, please help and trust me this will defininetely be my last time every doing sex unprotected, I've been scared straight....Well I'm gay but you know what I mean.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there:

There was definitely a risk. Anytime you have unprotected penetrative sex you put yourself at risk for HIV, and other STD's. Since this was a one-time occurrence, and there was no ejaculation, the risk was lowered, but there was still a risk.

If you like, you can go in for an initial HIV test 28 days post-exposure. If that test is negative, you need to follow it up with another test at the 90 day mark. In addition to testing for HIV at 90 days, I would suggest testing for all other STD's as well.

Using a condom for each and every act of penetrative sex is one of the best ways to protect yourself against HIV and many other STD's. It sounds like you already know this though! I wouldn't be too hard on yourself either. We all make mistakes. The best thing you can do is to try and learn from it, move on, and try your best to make sure it doesn't happen again.

If you like, please tell your sexual partner about our Newly Diagnosed section here on It's a great resource for those who people who have been recently diagnosed. Good luck.

In health,


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