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HIV Ansiety
Sep 30, 2012

Hi Doctor.

A month ago, i notice some marks that change color with the temperature, my mom(because she has some similiar) saw them and said to me not to worry, is nothing special. But i cant get this feeling of my head that i have something bad in my body, like HIV/Aids. In recent days since its less hot, it seems those marks are less noticeable, and they didnt grow or appeared in any other body part. But im paranoid with it, i feel weak, i barely eat, sometimes i have diahrrea but not always, im not always doing it, i feel like im losing weight but that should be related with almost no food i eat, i feel weak, kinda sleepy and sometimes like today, i started crying because i dont want to lose my life and my mom and dam that i love so much, i know the feelings of ansiety, can change a persons life very very much, sometimes i can relax a bit, and be very better considering how i am when nervous. I never had any sex, i never did drugs, my mom doesnt have hiv, so she didnt pass me it, nor did my dad. I never had contact with blood or sexual fluids of a hiv positive person. The only sexual act i did and used to do everyday before i becomed paranoid was solo masturbation, sometimes with help of my toys or pillows that i know have never been used by an HIV positive person because nobody in my family has that disease, nor in my friends. Also i never masturbated in public bathrooms or any place like that. I have masturbated alone in my godfathers house, when im alone on vacation on my seperate room, but i also know that they arent hiv positive. I had situations when my sperm may have touched my skin or my penis, but i think that since is my sperm and not an infect sperm it doesnt cause any risk? Im not circumsed by the way, i dont know if that matters. I have read many many times that if you dont have blood or sexual fluids of an hiv positive person, then no matter what you do, there is no risk, but i just cant get this feeling on my head, i always begin to get complety obssed with this idea to the point that if i see some mark on my body, the type of those normal people have, i begin to be obessed and see them like 50 times. Also i have some type of big mark on my foot that doesnt hurt and has been there a lot of time before this paranoia and i know even think that is a sign that im going to say goodbye.

Please doctor, do you have any advice? For example when i was writing this, i felt more relaxed, although with that feel of weakness a bit(maybe because i almost dont eat because of this fear).

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi You do not have HIV!

You have not done anything that poses a risk for HIV. The risk for HIV transmission to occur are with body fluids, blood, vaginal and seminal fluids and breast milk. Since you have not had any of these exposures then you are fine.

If your symptoms continue I would see your health care provider to see what else may be going on. But rest assured it is not HIV!

Be well, Shannon



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