Sep 30, 2012
I got marry in Africa in 2011 April return home a month later and agreed to return to live and work in Africa but on returning I notice my wife were acting funny and pushing and final finding some HIV pills I fprced the issuse and she said yes and whjat will I want to do about it since our marriage was less than one year I said we will talk about it because I really loved her. During the talk she refuse to tell me the date of the test and when she first knew she #had HIV after another month of pushing she said she did not remember but maybe in October but I found parts of medical report dtd in September and October was when I return to live and work in Africa and from the time of returning she found one reason or another why there were no sex and got to the point of abusing me calling me names and saying things that were not true to make me walk away from sex. I even tried to tell her that we can make it safe but she said I was pushing her and she would not feel right coming to one year no sex and still refuse to tell me about the date she found out about HIV can you think of any reason why she she keep the date a secret I often tell her what done kis done we need to work on fitting thkis marriage to do that I need the truth about the dates she says it had been two years from when we got marry but I am thinking signs shlould have sholwed uplong before oure marriage and why did she seek help after I was in USA for over six months kept it a secret until force to talk or I would leave. Love or not I can not work slomething out and stay when facts are being held I love her and want to work it out but can not when she refuse to give me the whole story what do you suggest for i know i amm about to leave if she do not come forth with an answer and in Africa culture family is not just one person who ever member of that family brothers and sisters and their children will be effected by the divorce and the reason was because of HIV but i can no longer live with the stress and pain
| Response from Ms. Southall
Hi One of the hardest things those of living with HIV have to deal with is disclosing our status. Now that you do know, how you decide to deal with it is of course your decision. I'm sure she has many reasons for not telling the date of her diagnosis. Her own issues of dealing with it, her family and friends and you, the stigma that comes along with an HIV diagnosis can be and most often is intense.
Be well and stay safe, Shannon
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