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how to approach a partner about being tested?
Aug 19, 2012

Hi Doc!,

A little about me. Im a heterosexual male, caucasian, 29 yrs old. Ive been seeing this girl recently, as in weve only had a couple of dates. Theres chemistry to say the least and the topic of sex came up. She revealed she really prefers it bareback (IE no condom). Now of course the idea was thrillign but scary at the same time. I havnt had sex with her yet. Im paranoid about STDs, pregnancy shouldnt be an issue as she said shes on birth control. While i doubt theres much to worry about, shes only 19, neverhteless it still bothers me. I have my physical every year and as of last year im clean. But i want to stay that way.

I wont feel comfortable or be able to completely enjoy it if we dont both ge checked out first. How should i bring this up with her? i dont want to come off as offensive...

Thanks for your input :)

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there:

It is very important that the two of you have a conversation regarding HIV status before you engage in unprotected sex. I suggest that the two of you get tested together. In addition to testing together, it will be important for the two of you to agree that you will only be having unprotected sex with each other. You will need to wait three months from the time you both agree to only have sex with each other unprotected for a negative test result to be conclusive.

When you have the conversation about all of this, you could start by saying something like "I really like you, and it's important to me that we are both take the necessary precautions to protect ourselves."

What if you showed her this post? I think that would be the easiest way to do it!

In health,

Richard



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