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I just found out my boyfriend is HIV postive
Jul 22, 2012

I've been with my boyfriend over a year now. We been having unprotected sex. I was tested negative. He told me that I won't get it as long as he taking his med. is that true? Can we still have a normal sex life? I don't like using protection.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi, there:

You can absolutely still have a normal sex life. However, it is going to involve lots of communication on both your parts. In this case, knowledge is power. It is going to be important for the two of you to discuss the risks and to decide what level of risk the two of your feel comfortable with.

From your question, I am not sure if your boyfriend just found out he is positive, or if he has been positive the entire time, and you just found out. If it is the latter, then I would suggest you ask yourself if this is the right person for you. If you have been having unprotected sex for the past year and he has been positive the entire time, then I would seriously question how much respect he has for you and your well-being. In addition to that, he has opened himself up to criminal charges by not disclosing his status to you prior to engaging in sexual intercourse.

Even when an HIV postive person is on HAART - it is still possible to transmit the virus, although the risk is significantly lowered. The receptive partner is also more at risk because receptive penetrative sex carries a higher risk of infection.

I can understand that you do not want to use condoms. However, using a condom for each and every act of penetrative sex is one of the best ways to protect yourself against HIV and many STD's.

If he is newly positive, I would suggest he check out our Newly Diagnosed section. Our section on Mixed-status Couples will be able to shed some light on any questions the two of you may be having.

Bottom line: If he was just diagnosed, then the two of you have some talking and reading to do. The more you know, the better equiped you will be to make sound choices regarding your health.

If he is just now disclosing his status after a year of being together AND having unprotected sex with you, then you need to ask yourself - "is he the one for me".

I would suggest testing every three months without fail.

In health,

Richard



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