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re-getting married

Jun 30, 2012

hi there thanks a ton for your valuable guidance and answers. i made my girl friend read that and it was reassuring for both of us. i have few more doubts that wana put forward, before getting in to sacred alliance of matrimony. point is that i really really love this girl, and i want nothing best for i told u earlier i am a poz guy, taking atripla. 1.i alwaz worry about my life expectancy, so is my girl friend, rather at tyms i see her crying and scared as if she might loose me some day, due to this virus, does life expectancy studies are over stated and impractical and reality is very different. 2. is it true that all poz people do develope sme sort of cancer and aids related complications at some or the other point in life, may be ten fifteen years down the line. 3. does aids diagonosis means that once somebody develope any aids related complication and have cd cells below 200, that person will never be able to regain his cells back and live normal life again, by change in medicine. 4.i asked u about having my own child, but will it actually be a wise decision to start a family, when me myself have uncertain life, and i really dont want in case if something happens to me, my child and my wife is left all alone with emotional and financial crisis. 5.we discussed the risk of transmission, by having safe sex only and using condoms, but is that 100 percent safe, will this put her at some or nil risk. 6.and most important, we have read again and again, many stories about research being done for some sort of functional cure, is it actually true, or these things never come out of research lab and medical journals, and all this hype and excitement alwaz fade away in dust, i read about some gene slicing and zinc finger thing, is it true that yes we will have cure, in next couple of years, maybe ten and after that i will live normal life and age gracefully without physicla dn mental burden of being hiv and WITHOUT MEDICINES... and please tell me such marrige is feasible??or we both taking a wrong step, i just dont wana put my love in some sort of trouble. thanks p.s. ireally will appreciate your answers, and value your time. regards deepak-india

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi, My husband and I have always felt I would rather love and be loved for a moment than miss out on being loved by him. We all do not know how long we will be here. We do know that being on medications and having an undetectable viral load that we are healthier and our outcomes are better. No not everyone will develop cancer or AIDS related illness. No your immune system can rebuild. I at one time at 130 cd4's and I now have over a 1,000. The medications are doing what they are supposed to be doing. Why would you deprive yourself of having children based on life expectancy. No one else does this, no one with cancer or other illness. I can leave my house tonight and be in an accident. None of know and it shouldn't stop of us from living the life that we want. Using condoms is the safest way. With an undetectable viral load and using protection the chances are less than 1%! There is also a medication that she can take, Truvada, that has been studied and shows that it will prevent infection it's called PrEP pre exposure prophylaxis. Yes there are many studies being done on cures and vaccine's we are closer than we ever have been.

I am the happiest I've been ever and having someone love me completely, she obviously cares and loves you enjoy this time with her, love her completely and thoroughly! You both deserve it!!!

Be well, Shannon

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