Hi, i had unprotected sex with a man who has HIV. after intercourse he pulled out before he came. He did not inform me of his HIV before our sexual in counter and asures me now that he did not put me in any danger since he pulled out well before he came. Am i at risk and if so what can i do at this point? And yes i performed oral as well on him. Thanks, Rhonda

Hi, Rhonda:

There was certainly a risk in this situation. Anytime you have unprotected penetrative sex with someone, you put yourself at risk. Since this was a one-time incident, and he did not ejaculate inside of you, the risk was certainly lower. I would suggest an HIV test at the three month mark. Testing is the only way to tell if an infection has taken place. Since your partner is known to be positive, I would also suggest a six-month test, just to be certain.

As someone who is HIV-positive, I am sorry that your partner did not tell you his status before-hand. In the future, it's always a good idea to discuss your status BEFORE the clothes come off. If someone is not comfortable talking about their status - then I would not feel comfortable having sex with them!

In addition to discussing status, you can talk about limits, and sex-safe rules. Not only does talking about it help insure your safety, it can be quite the foreplay too! Remember, using a condom for each and every act of penetrative sex is one of the best ways to protect yourself against HIV and many STD's. Good luck

In health,

Richard