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Risky Behavior with HIV Partner
May 30, 2012

My partner has HIV, on meds regularly for over 2 years now and has a consistently undetectable viral load each time tested. Recently, for whatever reason, we've been getting riskier and riskier in our sexual behavior. 1) He recently penetrated me unprotected--a few deep thrusts over a one-to-two minute period--no more; he does not leak and when he does it's very minimal. No fluid was released. We've done this "routine" about 4 or 5 times now. 2) I recently penetrated him unprotected--not too successful as I could not remain erect. The second and only other time we did this I got erect enough to release while inside him. Both times were not that aggressive on my part. 3) I orally service him unprotected--deeply in most cases. He can and does get aggressive in that regard. No fluid is released except outside the mouth AND we ensure there are no cuts, open sores, etc. I also gargle deeply with alcohol based rinse for several minutes after each time. 4) Lastly, he orally services me unprotected and deeply and does receive fluid occasionally. I urinate after each time. I get tested every three months and so far, after two years of #3 and #4 above, I've tested HIV negative. However, because of #1 and #2 above, which occurred recently, I expect I'm headed for an HIV positive status. Please let me know your thoughts. My next HIV test is in two and half months from now. How risky is our recent and other specific behavior? - Thanks, Nick

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi There have been some new studies stating that someone who is on meds and has an undetectable viral load the risk of HIV transmission decreases by 96%. So yes your unprotected intercourse does pose an increased risk but again with your partner having an undetectable viral load the chances are small. It's easy to get comfortable and complacent about safe behavior. I'm pos and my husband is negative and we have done the same. Just be aware of it and make sure that there is good communication between the two of you. One other thing you may want to consider is Truvada has just been approved for PrEP, for someone to take who is negative that is in a relationship where exposure is possible. You may want to look into this and seeing if it something for you to consider.

Be well and stay safe, Shannon



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