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"hiv risk for hetero male" HIV+ having sex with HIV-
Apr 27, 2012

my nephew died in jan 2012 and because we were raised together i took his death quite hard. long story short, me and a friend of his wind up getting together one time in january, then a few times in feb and a few times in march.

im hiv+ and out of fear i didnt tell him. when he found out, of course he was mad but he still wanted to have a relationship so he went out bought a bunch of condoms and said he was going to get tested. we had sex after that with condoms of course. things blew out of control and now he has turned into the ugly monster who wants to retaliate because his ex found out my status. im afraid of being criminalized because of this. yes, i should have said something before hand, but after it was revealed we still continued to be involved. his first test was negative after three weeks of last exposure. he goes back the end of june for the 3 month test. he has already convinced himself that he has it. what would be my recourse?

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your question,

First off, I'm very sorry to hear about the passing of your nephew. I can appreciate being able to find comfort with someone who understands the loss and provides companionship.

The part of your story that I'm curious about is whether you and his friend had unprotected sex before you revealed that you had HIV. This is an extremely important point. If the sex was unprotected, then you definitely would have put that person at risk from having sex without a condom multiple times... but criminalization laws depend on the state you live in.

Unfortunately, your recourse at this point is to wait with your partner for the 3 month mark.. In the meantime, it's going to be good to keep the conversations going with your partner, increasing trust and understanding..

Hope this helps!

Erik



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