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Unclear on Risk

Apr 22, 2012

My partner and I are both virgins, with him only having fingered a previous partner, and saying he has never had oral sex with anyone besides myself. He has been my only partner. We have engaged in touching (no genital to genital), and at one point he used his saliva as lubricant in touching me, and briefly performed non penetrative cunnilingus. I don't know if he ever touched himself and then touched my vaginal or genital area. We have also dry humped, the most extreme being with both of us being in underwear, with me being damp and able to feel the bulge of his erection. I don't know if being able to feel him counts as penetration or not, since we were both wearing briefs.

I know it's a stupid question, but would I be at risk of having any STD or HIV? I know that genital warts is a risk if there is any touching of genitals, whether it be genital to genital or skin to genital. Is there any chance I could have gotten HIV during the oral sex/saliva contact,or during dry humping?

I'm inexperienced and probably worrying with out cause, but reassurance would be awesome. This is probably a case of me having free floating anxiety, and having it latch onto something nonsensical.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there:

None of the situations you described put you at risk for HIV. Syphilis and Herpes are skin-to-skin diseases, having your underwear on reduces the risk of contact, but does not eliminate it. Both Herpes and Syphilis can sores can appear anywhere in the "boxer short" region. This would include anywhere from your waist to your upper thigh.

Being able to feel his erection through his underwear does not count as penetrative sex. His penis would have to physically be inside of your vagina (or rectum) for it to be considered penetrative sex.

Have you and your partner discussed what your safe sex practices will be, should penetrative sex occur i.e. condom usage? Using a condom for each and every act of penetrative sex is the best way to protect yourself against HIV and many STD's.

I would suggest reading the section on HIV transmission when you have time. It contains a lot of helpful information. Good luck.

In health,


Peripheral neuropathy of HIV?
Glad to see you all have taken over and added to Dr. Bob's forum

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