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worried and uncertain?
Feb 8, 2012

I was seeing a man who hadn't known due too many difficult circumstances (I know it was selfish to keep that information confidential not informing him) I also know that transmion a woman who is positive the male negative is a lower risk rate as to where a positive male transmitting HIV as to a female having unprotected intercourse with a positive male. At the begining my viral load was approximately 90-100 thousands. A few months had passed I then I started medication lowing my viral load drastically 392 and recently 66. When my viral load was at the begining was higher more or less what would the percentage rate infecting now my X partner condoms used sometimes not consistantly. Second he did perform oral sex on me unsure if I came in his mouth to my knowledge I know I didn't have any cuts or sores in my moth while it occurre. One I did recieve anal penitration and he did ejaculated inside of me I had no cuts and such. He had no sore cuts Either. Lastly I disagreed to having sex while I was on my period but sadly it happened anyway least one time I found out I was slightly bleeding didn't know at the time during intercourse my partner at the time (still isn't circumsized) no sexually STD's between both of us I had . Is there a slight posiblity he may be negative or am I just fooling myself? I also one one time had gotten HPV not by him I think from a contaminated sex toy I used personally never with him.

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi Well first let me tell you that your circumstance is not unusual and I work with many folks who have not disclosed their status. It's important information for your partners to know, but if you chose not to then insisting on using protection is important.

There are many studies coming out, one that I read about today, that a positive woman with a negative male partner, she has an undetectable viral load the risk of transmission is .1%. Male to female with the man having an undetectable viral load is .8%.

I also want to state, that there is a STD present you have HIV and this is a STD.

There is a possibility of him being positive and I think it is important for you to share this information with him. You had unprotected sex when you had a pretty high viral load, sex during your period, these are real reasons to share your status with him. Disclosing your status is a very hard and difficult situation to be in but if you want to have a healthy relationship it is a necessary part of living with this virus.

If you want to discuss this further I'm happy to help.

Be well, Shannon



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