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Heterosexual older 'swingers'

Jan 26, 2012

Hi, I belonged to a swinger's club for about a year and a half. Most of the couples attending were visiting from other states/countries. Most were over 45. The organizer of this group always wanted to unprotected sex, claiming (bragging?) he's tested every 3 months for HIV, and his results are always negative. So, that was one of my issues, but I always made him use a condom, regardless. Even with his 'mantra' I would inform him that the results were good for three months prior, but what about the women he's had unprotected sex with in the past 2 months? Does he KNOW they don't have HIV, or an STD? So, on and on it goes.

Then, there are the men who don't want to use condoms. Again, it's the thinking they're safe,they're not gay, or I can't get pregnant. I tell them I can tell them I'm safe too, but am I really? Do they know me enough to trust me? That usually brings them to reality and they use a condom, or I politely tell them no condom, no intercourse, and they move on.

So, my question is: How do we (I) get the message to the over 45 crowd that safe sex is STILL required? What can I do in my community to get the message across? Just because you're not gay or can't get pregnant, doesn't mean we're immune.


PS: I no longer attend these functions because I got tired of my saying my mantra" If it's wet and it's not mine, put a cover on it."

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi and thank you so much for your question, You Rock and am so impressed with how you are taking care of yourself and your statements are so very true. Unfortunately the older population has seen an increase in HIV infection. Most likely to the high rate of divorce and putting folks back into the dating world.

The answer is that we need more people like you to educate your community. Keep saying what you are saying and continue taking care of yourself!

Be well and stay safe, Shannon

HIV in dryer
HIV risk from being "Cut by broken tile"

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