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Frotting and risk, Please answer

Jan 11, 2012

Hi. I had another issue today. I gave a bj to a guy (lots of precum were involved and I was spitting out occasionally)...After that he started frotting his penis on my anus (he spit first on it)...I asked him what is he doing , and he said me to relax , he is just playing , and that he isn;t crazy to do it without a condom. But it was a deeper frotting, like he was really trying to get in ,but I didn't let him. It was spit on my anus, so every time I had a feeling like he is getting in. (You know that area when you are not sure when it's starting getting in or not)....Anyway, I don't have anal sex often, and when I have it it hurts as hell ( I am very tight), so I can say he didn't get in. But is it possible that he entered a bit but I didn't feel?(like 1mm or 2)...Top of his penis was definitely on enter of my anus 'playing' penetration. And some precum might have been involved...I know this sounds stupid what I write ( even to me)...but I am very concerned again if I was at risk...I am expecting the answer . Thanx

Response from Mr. Glenn

Thanks for your question,

First off, don't feel stupid. There's nothing wrong with being concerned about your health and there are times when we all have questions and worry.

Your risk sounds very low but let's run through some basics that might help in your situation. HIV is only transmitted through an HIV positive person's body fluid (limited to blood, semen, pre-cum, vaginal fluid, or breast milk) entering into your body. Sex with penetration is one way this can happen. While blow jobs do count as sex with penetration, we know that oral sex is not really a good way to pass HIV. Another way of saying that is that we don't see HIV being transmitted this way very often.

As for him rubbing his penis on your butt, no it doesn't sound like "he got in," but let's break it down. Sounds like you know the difference in feeling between having a penis inside you and outside you (most people do because it'll feel uncomfortable at first). His penis wasn't inside of you, therefore his cum didn't go inside your body. Sounds like no risk from that part.

There are many ways to make sex safer and still fun! Sounds like you're already doing that by setting limits on what is and isn't okay for guys to do with you in bed. Another way is to talk with your sex partners before you get into bed about if they've been tested and what the results are. Remembers, it's ok to choose not to have sex if their answer isn't what you want to hear.

Hope this helps,


Sex with hiv positive husband
First gay sex was unprotected..Am I HIV positive?

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