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Help!
Jan 10, 2012

Hi! I read so much about possibility if HIV transmission but I am still very worried. Please help me! I am a gay guy and dealt with HIV positive guy from January to September 2011. I have never had any sexual expierence before that. He states that he has undetectable virus load and I am tend to trust him cause I've seen him taking his truvada every day. Anaways, he wanted to have unprotected anal and oral sex with but I said "no" cause I know that undetectable means "less contagious" but not "not-infectious". But we still had some sexual activities and I am experiance symptoms. I will try to list and all me exposure and symptoms: In April we kissed 2 times touching tounges but no touching lips for like 5 seconds. I touched his pinus and stroke it for like 10 seconds. That time I got some red spots on my chest, close to my sholder. I was going to indoor tanning and I my scinned was a little burned so I thought that this is side effect of tanning. They became lighter and i noticed some peeling but they are still there.

Two mounths later he kissed me for like 10 seconds and then sucked my neck for 5 seconds. Usually I have chronik sore throat plus on the next morning after that kiss I noticed that i had very little cut inside my mouth on the top. When he kissed me was so fast that I do not know if he had blood in his mouth. At least I did not taste anything. A couples days after that I get like two small swollen lymph nodes behind my right ear. I can say that they are not noticable swollen but still swollen. I went to doctor. Tell her about kissing and she said that when hiv person has undetectable virus load the risk of transmission from kissing is very low. Ask me for other symptoms like fever and stuff and I told her that I do not have them cause I felt very good besides the lymph nodes. During this period a lot of insects bited my head and she said that she can order hiv test for me anytime to check me but mostlikely the reson for the nodes are the insect bites and the nodes will go down in some time.

A mounth later we get drunk again. He went to the bathroom( I think he washed his penis) I tought and srtoke his pinus for like 5 second and he did the same to mine. I do not think that we touch the penis heads. Then he slided through my ass crack only ones. I was so scared.In like 5 minutes I went to the bathroom and washed the anal line with suop and water with hand. No penitration, no continuously rubbing. Only one sliding. He did not have ejeculation but I was scared about pre-cum touching my anus line. That's why I went to wash. I was so scared and I do not remember about pre-cum but I do not think that I felt my anus wet when he tought me.

The last exposer was in September. We get drunk again. He wanted to suck his pinus him. I said no. He insisted and approuch his pinus to my face. I touched and and stroked him for like 5 seconds and sucked for 5 second one of his testicles and the bottom of his pinus but not the head. He insirt his pinus between my legs under my testicles and rubbed it for five second. Again I do not know about pre-cum but I do not think that I feel wet anywhere. Plus I do not thing that I had any bruses inside my hips from pants. I sucked his nipple but I forgot that he told me that it bleeds a little sometimes cause he goes jogging his nibles rub his shirt. At least I did not see or taste any blood.

Other than that we had some close mouht casual kisses, smoking fron one ciggarette; he cut my hair a couple times cause he is a hairdreesser and used electric razor for my neck but I do not think that this are risky exposures. We worked together like housekeepers. Once I started cleaning with a wet rag. He came and said that he cut his finger and a little blood went to this rag. I left the rag but I think I start cleaning with the rag like at least 2 minutes after that and first dipped it in soup and water. I don't think that I ever tought his penis head but I do not think that I washed my hand always touching his penis. Mybe I tpought mine after. I am so worried.

Anaways In September I went back to my own country. Now it is January. I still have these red spots but they are lighter already.I still have two small lymph nodes behind my ear and today I noteced that I have like two uclers in my mouth.

Please help me. My family doesn't know that I am gay. I am so scared to get tested but think only about that. What I need to do? Are these really risky exposures? Is 3 mounths enought time to get accurate fast hiv test. I am so stress.Please help!

Response from Ms. Southall

Hi From everything that you have mentioned, all are activities that carry no risk of HIV transmission. You cannot get HIV from casual contact, which includes kissing. If you want peace of mind, which I think is important from your stated stress level, getting tested is your best bet. The standards for testing are whether oral swab or blood are very accurate at 28 days, and conclusive at 90. However, when someone has had a known exposure to someone with HIV, you could perform a six month test, just to be extra cautious. He was accurate in stating that having an undetectable viral load does make the likelihood of transmission very small.

Be well and safe, Shannon



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