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virgin guy and poz

Jan 3, 2012

Thanks so much for your time Dr. Bob. I'm 37, I never had anal sex and my boyfriend was way more active in that in his life, he's 10 years my older and recently(a year ago)hiv+. He's with medication and his viral load is undetectable, my question is: since I never experienced that complete intimacy of somebody cumming into me without a condom, can one person succeed in a relationship like this without someday regreting I wish I felt somebody cumming into me without barriers? I love him, but is love enough?

Response from Ms. Southall

First let me give you a shout out for staying with your partner after finding out his status. Lots of folks living with HIV are fearful that they will never find a partner again that will love them. I speak from the heart as I am positive and my husband is negative. There are studies coming out stating that if someone is on medication, adherent and their viral load is undetectable the likelihood of transmission is very small. Though I must say here that there is no guarantee and that anal sex carries the highest risk of transmission, most especially the receptive partner. If you and your partner decide to have unprotected anal sex I would strongly recommend speaking to his physician prior to the "event" about PrEP/PEP (Pre Exposure Prophylaxis and Post Exposure Prophylaxis), this is putting you on HIV medication. They both have to be started within 72 hours of the exposure and studies have shown that this reduces the chances of the uninfected partner becoming positive.

In kindness, Shannon

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