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Had relations with a guy who likes men and women

Dec 7, 2011

My ex has dated both men and women. Even living with an exboyfriend. We has unprotected and he said he's been tested and gets tested every year. I never saw papers that said he did but I never asked him personally only just to explain that I worry about stds and such. He promised that he was clean and everything. About a week after we broke up, I tested. Of course te test was negative and it was around the 3 month mark of us having started to do unprotected. I tested 6 days after the last time. I was negative and of course she told me to come back in December because HIV doesn't always transmit every time (which I find very hard to believe...)

After I was tested, he told me again that he had got shots for his new business trip to India. The doctor said he should get a physical and he said every time he goes in for a physical that he always gets tested. He was negative for anything and has been cleaned (he says that he hasnt un protected except for his first girlfriend).

Should I believe him? It's been a couple weeks, we were serious... Kind of and I moved on to someone else (in my early 20's want to explore) I worry if he has been lying to me but I never asked he usually just told me and afterwards he would always say that he wouldnt put me in any danger.

He has slept with only 2 guys (one being his ex who is a social worker for the local school district)

Should I be worried? I've been feeling sick and worn down (it's been two weeks since we last had sex and this could just be me getting... But I never get sick)

Is there anyway to test and get accurate results sooner or do I really have to wait 3 months? I asked the girl after my test and she said that there's nothing until 3 months.

Response from Mr. Cordova

Hi there:

Your test counselor is correct. HIV does not transmit every time. If he is telling you that he tested negative, it's likely true. However, people can certainly be in the window period and not know it.

As for testing, there are other options available but none that would be recommended in your case. Most people can get an accurate rapid antibody test at the 25 day mark and a conclusive answer at 90 days. So if you cannot wait, go in for a 25 day test and a follow up test at the three month mark.

Going forward, remember that condoms during penetrative sex are the best way to protect yourself against HIV and other STD's. If you are in a committed relationship and want to stop using condoms, then you both get a full STD screening at the three month mark from when you became monogamous. Once you have done that, a discussion of whether or not you want to stop using condoms can continue.

I hope this helps.

In health, Richard

HIV Risk for me and my wife

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