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Have malabsorbtion and Georaphic Tounge. please help Doc. at wits end.

Aug 17, 2011

Hey Doc. I'm 42, married with 3 kids. And I've made the biggest mistake of my life. and may cost me my life. feeling so very ashamed and guilty of my betrayal of trust and possibly HIV infection that i may have inflicted upon my family. I'm at my wits end. I hooked up with an old girl friend via facebook and we met and had unprotected sex (both oral and vaginal) once in Jan. and again in febuary. not to long after i had to leave work one day feeling nauseous with feverish flu like symptoms. wich I proceed to go home and sleep straight through until next morning. felt better the next day. but soon after started in with low grade headaches coupled with diarrhea that continued for a few weeks. I also remember my son trying to tickle me under my arms and it hurt like the lymph nodes were tender and swolen. I began to loss weight at this point as well. so much so that people began to notice at work. Went to the doctor towards the end of March and had my first HIV test, along with chlamydia and ganaria. Don't know the name of the name of HIV test, it was Antibody blood test. Which all came back negative.(if i knew then what i know now i would have ask for PCR) well anyway I thought I was in the clear and didn't realy think I had anything to worry about anymore. I was about 142 lbs. down from about 155. weight loss seemed to be stable though. then the weekend before the 4th of July my whole world turned upside down. I started having pain in tip of my penis when i would urinate. Also urinating frequently the feeling that my peeing was not finished but had no pee left. urine would continue to dribble out and leeking urine in my sleep. this last for about 2 weeks. I know these are not symptoms of HIV Doc, but what also began at the same time was the this incredible feeling of hunger and what seemed like to me at the time was my matabolism stepping into high gear. I thought i was just burning everything I ate. but what I now know is malabsortion of fat. so needless to say the weight loss began again. So went to the doctor and had the whole battery of STD tests including Hepatitis C and HIV Saliva test. All came back Negative again. but Doc put me on Cipro for 10 days thinking UTI. Cipro was not kind to me to say the least. all sorts of side effects. panic attacks, joint pain, tendon pain, sleeplessness. nasty stuff. side effects subsided after taking Cipro. but took an antibody blood test at that time that would have put me at the 4 month point or so. It came back negative. But still have Malabsorbtion so much so now that i'm down to 136 pounds and have to carry a cooler full of food to work that would, kill a horse, just to get me through the day have thrush and geographic touge now and sores in my mouth. I had another Syliva test done at about the 5th month point that came back negative as well. What started last Thursday was a rash that covered my back for about 4-5 days. So going with the logic, if you get the rash you get the antibodies, I had another HIV antibody blood test done on Tuesday and a PCR RNA done as well. both negative. those 2 would approx. put me at 6 months. But still the malabsorbtion and symptoms continue i've had sores that have appeared on my arms over night that just crusted over and took forever to heal. and any cut i get takes forever to heal as well. I'm as week as a kitten, and generaly feel like crap, everyday. i have abdominal pains and head aches through out the day. my stool is yellow at times and is always in large volumes and it floats. i usualy have to poop about 3 times a day. on and off diarria. my urine is dark and strong smelling at times and other times cloudy. I have pains in my kidneys. my head hurts and feels neurological. wake up with shakey feeling every morning also feels neurological. also have joint pain so thinking maybe not just Cipro. My Doc has ran every test under the sun thyroid, celiac, diabetes, you name it, I've been tested. everything comes back negative. So scared Doc. Dont know what to do anymore. Weight loss continuing don't think it will stop. Scared that i'm just not producing antibodies yet. I'm just plain scared Doc. i want to grow old and watch kids grow up and hold my grand children. i regret what i did every hour of every day. I'm in such a state of dispair, i can't think about anything else except what i might have wrought on my family. please Doc tell me if any of this sounds like anything you experienced. or know about. Thank you and God bless you. you are an amazing person to do what you do everyday. I look forward to hearing from you. Thanks again.

me again, malabsortion and georaphic tounge. please reply Doc. (Submitted Aug 13, 2011)

Hey Doctor Bob, its me again. Please reply to my previous Question. even if you can reply to me through just email. I'm going out of my mind. woke up this morning and just getting so thin. can this be wasting at just six months? please Doc, Just getting so sick and I'm still negative on antibody tests. Soon I don't think I will be able to continue to work. Body mass and mustle seem to be dropping fast now. Do you think this is something new? Please reply. i'm sorry to bother you. i know you have a lot on your plate dealing with your illness and all you do for everybody on the website. i think your amazing to have such a positive outlook. i don't even know if i have HIV or not yet and I'm ready to call it quits. Please doc if you have my previous post please read and tell me what you think. I think I titled it something like "have malabsorbtion geographic tounge at my wits end" sorry it's long winded but i tryed to include everything so you would have a good idea of what i have going on. Thanks Dooc and I look forward to hearing from you.

me again, malabsorbtion geographic tounge, at my wits end (Submitted Aug 13, 2011)

Sorry to bother you again Doc especialy on your weekend but i just thought i might ad to my original post is that the UTI test back in July also came back negative. okay thanks and i look forward to hearing from you.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Does your story sound like anything I've seen before? Yes, absolutely. In fact it's quite common! Married guy with kids makes "biggest mistake of (his) life" by having unprotected sex with whomever and then feels "ashamed and guilty" for betraying his wife and kids. Subsequently nonspecific symptoms develop and fears of STDs, especially HIV, ensue as anxiety increases and depression sets in. Anxiety and depression symptoms (including lack of appetite resulting in weight loss) feed fears of HIV infection. Extensive medical workup searching for a physical cause of symptoms is unrevealing. Multiple HIV-diagnostic tests are negative. Despair worsens as obsession with HIV increases. Sound familiar???

Your multiple negative HIV-antibody tests and undetectable HIV PCR RNA out to six months are definitive and conclusive. HIV is not your problem. No way. No how.

Your real problem is anxiety, depression, guilt and irrational fear of HIV resulting from your unprotected dance with no pants with your ex. Irrational obsession with HIV can be a psychological distraction from confronting more complex and challenging issues, such as guilt and infidelity.

I suggest you level with your wife. I know she won't be pleased, but leveling with her is not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. You should also seek consultation with a licensed mental health professional to help you confront your guilt issues, irrational fears of HIV, anxiety and depression. Continue to follow up with your general medicine doctor for ongoing symptoms, although many of these may well be psychosomatic and related to your anxiety and depression. If weight loss persists, consider getting a consultation with a gastroenterologist.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Medical clearance and disclosure of HIV
No question. An apology

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