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URGENT - Hooked up with an HIV+ man, what are my risks?
Aug 13, 2011

I apologize for being graphic, but I am wondering about the risk factor for these activities...

Several weeks ago I (female) hooked up with a guy whom I later discovered is HIV+. We did not have sex, but we did dryhump through my underwear, which was wet with my fluids. He told me he was wet too, which means I may have come into contact with his pre-cum. He tells me that his viral load is undetectable in his pre-cum, but am I right to be worried?

A second activity between us that worries me is that he fingered me rather deeply before I became lubricated, so there was some uncomfortable vaginal stretching which might have made me more vulnerable to the virus. I've read mixed answers about the risk of contracting HIV through fingering, but is it possible that I could have contracted the virus if he had a miniscule cut on his finger? Again, there may have been slight vaginal tearing as well.

Could you please tell me what my risk level is? I am EXTREMELY concerned, but my college campus does not begin offering HIV testing until October.

A huge thank you, T

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hey, T.

The first thing to point out is that if you had not "later discovered he is HIV+," would you be at any less risk right now? Nope! That's why we need to assume all our sexual contacts could be HIV infected and take all the necessary precautions to prevent viral transmission. Your activities with your virally enhanced friend would qualify as "safer sex." Fingering is not considered a risk for HIV transmission, assuming the skin on the fingering finger is intact. Dry humping (even through wet panties and tighty whities) is not a risk for HIV transmission.

If my reassurance is not enough for you to shake your fears, get a single HIV test at the three-month mark primarily to gain psychological peace of mind. The result will undoubtedly be negative.

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob



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