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why do you tell this lad he should get tested and not me
Jun 13, 2011

About this post:

Scared about acquiring HIV from prostitute Nov 26, 2010

1. I am the dumbest person alive 2. I made one mistake that I am never going to do again for the rest of my life, and I am also going to regret it until the day I diehere is the story (as brief as I can make it).

I am a heterosexual male in his mid 30s, married for 3 years with no kids. I am well educated, and have always been the smart one when it comes to refraining from nonsensical activities. I am a resident of New York, and was out on the west coast (San Francisco) for business when I went to a massage parlor. Generally, I know that these parlors usually involve a massage (which is what I actually wanted) and (possibly) a happy ending (which I wouldnt have minded, but honestly didnt care either way).

Long story short, I get there, and things start getting interesting. I start getting a massage, and the girl start rubbing my stuff from behind, and then starts licking my anus. Obviously, it was arousing. The next thing I knew, I was flipped over and she was sucking me. Now, if you are a guy, and everyone knows as well as I do, it is extremely hard to stop someone that is doing thathowever, I managed to stop it after about 10 seconds. The next thing I know, she puts a condom on, and jumps on top of me without asking (yes, I am telling the truthhowever, I am not completely innocent, I couldnt have easily stopped her.again, very hard to do). After about (I would say30 seconds or so, I finished, inside her, with the condom on). Condom came off, I paid, I left

After leaving, my guilty conscience started (as well as the fear of having contracting something). I then immediately went to the ER and told the doctor what happened. At that point, I was given some strong antibiotics and tested for Herpes, Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and something else what I could not recall. (Just for the record, that swab they give you for the testing...Wow...that hurt like hell!) The doctor advised, however, that he could not test for HIV due to the fact that I would need counseling, etc.

A few days later, I called in for my tests, and everything was negative (thank God!). About 2 weeks (10 days) after the contact, I then took one of those take home HIV testnegative. The week after that (last week) I took one that my doctor administered (I was scheduled for my yearly physical anyway)negative. Its been about 24 days since my encounter, and I have not been able to sleep, and when I do sleep, I keep having nightmares about infecting my wife, ruining my life, and basically killing myself in the event that I have contracted a deadly which I could spread to my family from one stupid encounter that would never happen again!

I have had no symptoms since except for a small canker sore in my mouth, which has subsequently healed (I think it may have been a result of pinching or something during a dental cleaning).

So, now I spend all my times reading up on this, and everything I have done appears to be low risk. However, I cant help but feel that I need to be punished for what I did, and I should not be allowed to get away with this. I should discuss with my wife, but I cant let this once incident that I am never going to do again ruin the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. Its also going to kill me if I have to wait another 6 months to be in the clear At this point, I will be taking tests every week or so Should I continue? When should I stop getting tested?

Please give one stupid individual some advice before I wind up doing something stupid.

While I know this is a very serious disease, I was protected, and I really hate my childhood inner city school public education and the media for making me paranoid

Thanks!

Response from Dr. Frascino Hi,

Your HIV-acquisition risk is low. Your guilty conscience and feeling that you deserve to be punished for your lapse in judgment are your biggest problems at the moment. My advice is straightforward:

1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt and anxiety; it's also the right thing to do.

2. Use latex condoms with your wife for all penetrative sex until your HIV-negative status can be reconfirmed.

3. Get an HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. HIV-antibody test taken before the three-month mark are not considered definitive.

4. If your three-month test is negative, you can (and should) stop testing and start WOO-HOO-ing.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

I am Frost or Frosty and just asked you another question. As far as I can see he wore a condom while I didn't? How is my exposure safer than his? By the way i had the sex worker tested 3 days after that - negative and was only involved in "rubbing or brushing without condom" How can my exposure be less critical than this lad's?

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello, Frosty.

I see you're still worrying and not WOO-HOO-ing like I suggested! This is no way to spend your birthday!

By the way, you answered your own question. The reasons I recommended testing for the guy in the other question and not for you are:

1. He had sex (albeit relatively low-risk sex -- unprotected insertive oral and protected vaginal) with his rub-a-dub-dub hooker and you did not!

2. You had your hooker HIV tested; he did not.

Also, the guy in question really needed some psychological peace of mind as he was feeling extremely guilty about his actions. This may also apply to you, but to a lesser degree. And so my assessment and advice for each of you remains unchanged. See link below.

Happy birthday to us once again!

Dr. Bob

Doc last question please Jun 13, 2011



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