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Worried from possible exposure from masturbation and deep kissing

Jun 3, 2011

Dr. Frascino- First, I wanted to say that from what I have read, you have truly been a wonderful resource for everyone who has posted a question in these forums. Thank you for all you do!

I do hope that you can answer my question, as now at 7 weeks, I am beginning to worry a little. So here it goes. I met a great guy back in February of this year. Up until April, we did nothing other than deep kissing on a few dates. Mid-April we went just a little further with mutual masturbation that concluded with him ejaculating on my stomach. When things begin to get serious as far as us having a relationship, he revealed to me that he is HIV+. I did freak out a little when I got home, but was honored that he revealed his status to me. He even pointed me to this website, which has given me more insight on HIV. We have not had oral nor anal sex, just the mutual masturbation back in April and a lot of deep kissing. It has been 7 weeks since the mutual masturbation, and now I'm beginning to have sore throat, and last week only slight headaches. I haven't had a fever or anything else. I really want to "write them off" as being results of worrying too much. I'm getting so anxious waiting for the 12 week mark to test. So, I suppose that the main question is whether I'm truly at low risk from the mutual masturbation described above and lots of deep french kissing. The second would be if a test at 7 or 8 weeks will help me worry a little less?

Thank you so much, and I really appreciate your time and response!

And I will most definitely send a donation to your organization which has already helped so much!

Response from Dr. Frascino


I generally recommend disclosing one's HIV status well before the pants come off, but I, too, am glad your buddy disclosed his status before things got even hotter between the sheets. Your HIV-acquisition risk from the deep kissing, masturbation and getting a load of spunk on your tummy is essentially nonexistent. HIV cannot permeate intact skin. Your fears are unwarranted. If my reassurance is not sufficient for you to shake your worries, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The results will undoubtedly be negative. I'd also suggest you read through the wealth of information on this site and in the archives. If you and your positively charged buddy are going to become an item, you both should review the information in the archives chapter devoted to magnetic couples and consider adopting some of the harm-reduction strategies discussed there.

Thanks for your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that you are now and will forever be HIV free.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

should i under go test
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