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Kissing, frottage, and mutual masterbation.

May 27, 2011

Dear Dr. Frascino, first off I would like to thank you for the work you do! The world needs more people like you to continue battling against HIV/AIDS and to help those who either have the condition or who are extremely frightened (like beyond belief --- ME) that they might have it. I truly am grateful for this forum and your answers. Thank you!

This past Saturday I went out to a gay club for the first time with some friends. Needless to say, we all got VERY drunk and I ended up in the washroom with what appeared to be a much older (and random) man. I refused to kiss him, but he was very persistent and kissed me 2 or 3 times on my lips for about 4-5 seconds. My mouth was mostly closed, no tongue, and I pushed him away. Then we started doing mutual masturbation and I felt his precum on my hand. Finally, he started to kiss my neck but I realized I had just shaved prior to going out and there were a few dry cuts and bumps from the razor blade on my neck. We went back to his place and cuddled (naked) and began to do frottage and more masturbation. This time, he came and some of his cum got onto his hand that he immediately used to masturbate me. I am deathly afraid that he may have gotten his cum into my urethra (it was dark and I couldn't really see). Also, he touched my balls and perineum, what if some precum or cum got into my anus? What scares me the MOST is that when I asked him if he was clean, he became combative, upset, and threw me out of his house! He basically refused to answer the question. Doctor, please help me, I'm loosing sleep over this. I realize I made a mistake by being so careless, but I don't know who else I can truly ask for advice from -- nobody in my family knows I am gay, and it would be very hard to tell them under these circumstances. What are my chances of HIV infection (assuming he has HIV)? I will donate generously to your foundation. I've read other forums but I feel this is a very unique situation. Thanks so much Doctor, have a great day!

- Mark

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hi, Mark.

Your HIV-acquisition risk is extremely low at best. I don't recommend using a buddy's baby batter for lube during mutual wack-a-thons, but even so your HIV risk is extremely low. If you remain worried, get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. I'm quite confident the result will be negative, but it may be the best way for you to gain psychological piece of mind. Your obsessive fear of being infected with HIV may be indirectly related to other issues, such as guilt and not being out to your family. Mark, I would encourage you to come out and also to learn more about the ways HIV can and cannot be transmitted.

Thanks for your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation ( It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck/good-health karma that you are now and will forever be HIV free.

Good luck. Be well.

Dr. Bob

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