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blood outside condom and i was the bottom

May 24, 2011

hello Robert,

my name is robert and i just found this site and i hope you can help me. i have not had anal sex in a long time , and for the last three days i wanted to bottom so badly. so just one h ago i did it. but something happend and i am going crazy. i am the most paranoid person when it comes to hiv and i am alwyas so safe and only have protected sex. so now to what happend . i been chating with this guy on A4A and he is a total top and hot so we decided to hook up. in his profile it says safe only and negative .so decide to meet him outside my patio becuase i like outside stuff. I start giving him some oral and then i drop my pants and you know what... of course we use a condom and alot of lube. the problem is he had a round pircing and i was somehow concerned about that if the condom could break and he said he did it before it is safe. i wanted it so badly that i thought it will be ok. well, we had great sex i never was able to take it that easy even with the pircing. after i came he came as well then he hold the condom on the shaft and pult out and took the condom of. we said thanks and good night. i asked him if everything was ok with the condom and he said yes. after he left i cleand my behind to get the lub off with a papertowel that i took with me and saw there was blood on the papertowel. i freaked out so much ,so looked for the condom and i saw there was blood outside the condom but the condom did not break and the sperm was still inside. but after i saw the blood i felt so sick that moment that i through up right there on my padio i could not breath anymore and my hart was reacing like crazy i felt so dizzy i felt i was going to pass out i had to focus. then i got myself inside when i was feeling better. i am sure it was a shock. only some littel more blood came out but it stoped shortly after and i dose not hurt. i think it maybe happend because he was kind of rough and maybe the pircing did it. also i cleand my anus before very crazy with enema and water. i called him and he siad to not worry we have been safe the condom is not broken and he had no blood on his genitalia. he said he got tested last month and he never dose it unprotected and he told me i shoud not be scared. my question is , what are the chances that if he has hiv did i get exposed? the condom did not break but he fingerd me a little and maybe i was already bleeding? i am going crazy robert what do you think? also maybe i should have not had been a bottom with a guy that has a pircing. i feel like i am always so carfull and now ones where i get so horny this had to spoi everything. btw sorry for my english i can not focus right now and it is my fourth language. thanks robert for your help

Response from Dr. Frascino


Four languages? Impressive!

In English I would say "relax Max," and in French "a l'aise Blaise." In Swahili, well how the hell do I know I don't speak Swahili. In any language your HIV-acquisition risk is extremely low, assuming the latex condom was used properly and didn't break. Oral sex carries only a very low risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Fingering would not be an HIV risk, assuming the skin on the fingering finger was intact. Finding your blood outside the condom and when wiping up after sex would not increase your HIV risk. It was your blood, not his. Plus he remained dressed for the patio-party in his latex slicker. Consequently, your worries are not warranted.

By the way, your episode on your patio was not "shock" but rather a panic attack due to anxiety and fear.

Primarily to gain psychological peace of mind, you can get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark. The odds are astronomically in your favor that you did not contract HIV from this poke on the patio!

Be well. Stay well.

Dr. Bob

very worried! can you catch HIV from...
HIV , The Window Period and IVF

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