Very worried...maybe too worried? Please advise
May 17, 2011
Hello...I am a happily married man of +10 years and have never cheated on my wife...until now. I have a very sick family member in India and I went to see her. It was a very difficult visit for me and one night I went out to a girlie bar, got insanely drunk and took a girl home. We had sex twice and she gave me a BJ as well. On all 3 of the sexual encounters that night, I used a condom (a new one for each act and none of them broke). I have no cuts or sores on my penis(never have)...but I do have the occasional outbreak of genital warts and had two of them at this time (I planned on getting them removed when I returned home) 2 days later (after I returned home), I experienced frequent urination for two days (with no pain) and then some pain during urination. I immediately went to a doctor who tested my urine and said I had no trace of bacteria...but had to do further tests for possible clymadia (spelling?). He checked and my penis looked completely normal, no swelling on the testicals and the tip was not red or irratated. He gave me an anti-biotic anyway and told me he would know the clymadia test results in 3 days (which is two days from now). I also took an HIV test...I know it is probably too early to do that but I didn't care (I will get the result in 7 days). I have always had to take these tests for jobs and passed and just wanted some piece of mind...Anyway, I literally took one pill and went to bed...and the next day the pain and frequent urination issue was gone...Could it be possible it was something else? I have experienced some pain before in urination after sex with my wife (rare but in 10+ years it has happened)but it has always gone away in about 2 days (no discharge either)...though once my testicles were a little sore and so was the tip (this happened just once as well)... My biggest fear is of HIV...I do not want to lose my family and I can't believe I made this one horrible mistake...I am completely freaked out...Am I overreacting? I know these are a lot of questions but I am begging you for a response. The doctor I went to has horrible English (I am overseas) and I will get the opportunity to speak to an English-speaking doctor in about 6 weeks... Please advise? Am I probably safe? What are the odds? I promise to donate money... I am afraid to even create an e-mail as I don't want any possible way for my wife to find out I contacted...Please, please respond...I will check the forum
Response from Dr. Frascino
Protected sex is indeed protected, assuming the latex condoms were used appropriately and didn't break. HIV cannot permeate intact latex. No way. No how.
Your symptoms are neither worrisome for nor suggestive of HIV acute retroviral syndrome (ARS).
Are you overreacting? Yep. The primary reason to consider HIV testing is to gain psychological peace of mind. The result will undoubtedly be negative.
Your major problem is guilt, which is manifesting as irrational fear of HIV.
My suggestions are straightforward:
1. Level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do.
2. Get a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark to put your unwarranted worries permanently to rest. You can use latex condoms with your wife until you get your definitive three-month HIV test result.
3. Have your genital warts treated. You could easily transmit HPV (human papilloma virus) genital warts to your wife (and other gal pals) via mere skin-to-skin contact.
Thanks for your support of The Robert James Frascino AIDS Foundation (www.concertedeffort.org). It's warmly appreciated. In return I'm sending you my good-luck karma that your definitive HIV-antibody test is negative. I'm very confident it indeed will be negative.
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