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What does "properly used" really mean?

May 3, 2011

Dear Doctor, this is the third time I write this week. I even wrote you the the "concert effort" webpage. I'm a Latino male that lives in Italy. Unfortunately I made an stupid decision last week: I have "protected oral sex" with an African prostitute. I say "protected" because she unrolled the condom with her mouth over my penis before my penis was erect. I think this is a behavior that means that I didn't use the condom properly, because what happen if she has bleeding gums or sores in her mouth? I have called to the Italian HIV hotline and they told me that it is not a risk and that I don't need to take the test. Please confirm this opinion. I am terrified! my wife arrives to Italy soon and I don't like to destroy her life because my mistake. I can not stop thinking about this! I have lost the appetite and I only want to sleep in order to don't think about the episode!

Response from Dr. Frascino


I agree with the advice you received from the Italian HIV hotline: no risk!

Your problem is primarily guilt. I would suggest you level with your wife. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. Although HIV testing is not warranted medically, you might consider getting a single HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark to gain psychological piece of mind. The result will undoubtedly be negative.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Barebacking in undetectable/STD free poz-poz relationship (BAREBACKING IN A POZ-POZ RELATIONSHIP, 2011)
Teacher with HIV positive student

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