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unprotected receptive anal sex

Apr 23, 2011

Dr. Bob, Hello, and thanks for your time. As you may have gathered from the title of my question, i had unprotected receptive anal sex with a partner of unknown hiv status (without ejaculation)...WHY??! I've known my whole adult life that this is one of the riskiest and poorest choices I could have made, and ultimately the answer will be to wait for 90 days and take a test, but in your opinion, is there any other action I could or should take? What is so distressing is i KNOW better, I even had a condom out of the wrapper ready to use, but he didn't want to use it, and ultimately my passivity prevailed. Wtf is that about? I am not liking myself very much right now.

Response from Dr. Frascino


Agreed, this wasn't your wisest decision. But don't be too hard on yourself. It's a well-established fact that the higher powers gave men both a brain and a tallywhacker but only enough blood to run one at a time. Just review the other questions in this forum and you'll see you have lots and lots of company in making this bad decision.

As for action you could or should take, if you knew or highly suspected your top gun was positively charged (HIV+), you could take a course of post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to decrease (but not totally eliminate) the risk of acquiring HIV. However, PEP should be started as soon as possible, and no later than 72 hours after the HIV exposure. If more than 72 hours have elapsed, your only alternative is to wait and get HIV tested outside the window period. If you are still in touch with your barebacking top guy, you could ask if he would get a rapid HIV test. If he tests negative, your risk would be reduced to the remote possibility that he is still in his window period (HIV infected but not yet producing detectable levels of anti-HIV antibodies in the blood).

The important thing about this lapse in judgment is that you recognize your error, accept the consequences for your actions, and, most important, learn from the mistake so that you never put yourself at such risk again.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Struggling to Carry on ... Pt 5
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