Hi my best friend has introduced me to her cousin who is overseas but will be visiting soon. We are hitting it off really well so far, he even sent me a dozen roses and candies! My question is, my other friend who knows my status said I should wait until I meet him in person then tell him my status if we click (before we do anything sexual of course). I tend to agree because I want him to be able to judge me based on everything and not just my status. I just feel I'd rather tell him in person instead of online because I'm scared he just would get scared and ditch me when I told him like so many others have. He seems like a great guy. We are doing some heavy flirting via email. My question is should I wait and tell him in person after we've met so he can at least give me a chance? Thanks for yoir advice! Oh btw I am undetectable and doing great healthwise!

Hi,

Disclosure is never easy. No two situations are alike. In general, I recommend disclosing sooner rather than later (and certainly before the pants come off!). See link below to my recent blog post on this topic: "A Telling Tale of Trick or Treat: Remember to Spit, Don't Swallow!". Also take a read through the information in the chapter in the archives devoted to HIV disclosure issues. Hopefully you'll find the information helpful.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

http://www.thebody.com/content/art59023.html