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Disclosure Question, Need Advice

Apr 17, 2011

Hi my best friend has introduced me to her cousin who is overseas but will be visiting soon. We are hitting it off really well so far, he even sent me a dozen roses and candies! My question is, my other friend who knows my status said I should wait until I meet him in person then tell him my status if we click (before we do anything sexual of course). I tend to agree because I want him to be able to judge me based on everything and not just my status. I just feel I'd rather tell him in person instead of online because I'm scared he just would get scared and ditch me when I told him like so many others have. He seems like a great guy. We are doing some heavy flirting via email. My question is should I wait and tell him in person after we've met so he can at least give me a chance? Thanks for yoir advice! Oh btw I am undetectable and doing great healthwise!

Response from Dr. Frascino


Disclosure is never easy. No two situations are alike. In general, I recommend disclosing sooner rather than later (and certainly before the pants come off!). See link below to my recent blog post on this topic: "A Telling Tale of Trick or Treat: Remember to Spit, Don't Swallow!". Also take a read through the information in the chapter in the archives devoted to HIV disclosure issues. Hopefully you'll find the information helpful.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Oral Sex w/postive lover
Atripla and CD 4

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