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I know you won't answer but....... part 2

Apr 16, 2011

I don't know if you remember me but you answered my questions a few weeks ago. I told you how I somehow felt enlightened about gay people by reading about you and seeing how you handle the worried folks on this forum. I don't really know that many openly gay people but that's not an excuse. Please accept my apology for being so shallow.

If you remember I had performed cunnilingus on a stripper/prostitute (while I was extremely drunk) for a few seconds and now I am beside myself with fear and guilt. (I'm not one to cheat but unfortunately....) I figure you won't be able to answer all my questions but just typing this is like therapy for me. Still severely depressed and anxious. Unfortunately, I have resorted to drinking at night to manage to sleep. I have been putting down a lot of whiskey lately. It is the only thing that keeps me calm enough to sleep. I have not told my wife yet. We have not been intimate since all this has happened. She is not that much into sex anyway. I want to tell her everything but I haven't mustered up the courage. She is still suspicious of my depression. I deny it to her and say I am alright but I know I can't hide it from her. She has seen me depressed before(It runs in my family) This time however I am the person responsible for my depression. It is situational depression. I want to collapse everytime I look at my children b/c of the gulit of the betrayal I have committed against them. I am so afraid of losing them. God I hate myself. I am in such a dark place right now. Well on to my questions.

I know you say symptoms mean nothing but what about lack of symptoms? I have been paying close attention to my body and so far nothing. No fever, no sore throat, no rash, no headache(even with the drinking I have been doing). In fact other than the extreme depression and nervous feeling in my chest that has been there for the past 49 days I physically feel fine. I keep waiting for something but so far there is nothing. I know that there are people who seroconvert without symptoms but in searching the net I find conflicting answers for exactly how common this is. In your experience dealing with patients how common is symptomless seroconversion? What's the longest time frame for ARS to occur? If it hasn't happened by 49 days post exposure and a person seroconverts would it likely be symptomless or will ARS eventually happen?

How is it that not all mucous membranes are not equally susceptible to infection? It seems to me that all you would need is virus introduction to mucous membranes for infection to happen. However there is obviously people who perform oral on infected people unprotected and manage to avoid infection. How is this so?

Thanks for taking the time to answer all these questions, even if you don't answer this one. It has been 49 days since my stupid, idiotic lapse of common sense. All I can do is test. 41 days left to go. That seems so long. I just hope I can hold on.

Thank you for being here Dr. Bob. I hope you are doing fine. God bless you.

From a stupid, stupid fool

Response from Dr. Frascino


Apology accepted.

It is estimated that some symptoms of acute retroviral syndrome are present in 92% of cases of acute HIV infection. ARS symptoms generally manifest two to three weeks after infection and persist for several weeks; however, there is some variability from case to case. ARS symptoms beginning after 49 days would be extremely unlikely.

Mucous membranes do vary anatomically from site to site in the body. While they are all capable of absorbing HIV, they are not all equally susceptible to viral penetration. For example, the oral mucous membranes are coated with saliva. There are components in saliva that inhibit HIV. It's also important to point out that not every HIV exposure leads to HIV transmission/acquisition.

My assessment and advice remain the same. See link below. I again encourage you to level with your wife (rather than ruining your liver by abusing alcohol). If you don't know what to say, why not just show here these posts. Your remorse comes through loud and clear.

Finally, don't forget you promised to help destigmatize being gay in your homophobic community.

Good luck.

Dr. Bob

Do I have to do testing again..Worried..Is test reliable?
Please answer back

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