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Concerned Housewife over seven years !!!!!
Apr 3, 2011

I want to stay I wrote to you seven years ago and you never responded. So for all those years I've been with fear and anxiety hear and there. I hope you can respond.

So here is my story. In Feb 2004 I had an affair with an boyfriend who is married. We used condoms for sexual intercourse, but when i gave him oral I did not.At that time I had braces so i could have had small cuts. I had a lot of precum he did not ejaculate in my mouth. We saw each other again on July 19, 2004. Again same thing used condom for sex not for oral. Well i started freaking out about hiv, and started to feel so guilty . So I went to get tested on Nov 3, 2004 it was a blood test. It came back negative. But I still have anxiety and I know guilt is playing a big part in it too. I just want to hear it from you that I don't need further testing. So could start living again and enjoying my family.I know that cheating on my husband bad. but we were in a bad time in out marriage. I would appreciate so much.

thank you Housewife.

Response from Dr. Frascino

Hello Housewife,

Sorry dearie, but you can't blame your seven years of "fear and anxiety" on the fact I did not respond to your 2004 question! Your extramarital activities were your choice, as is your decision whether or not to get an HIV test!

Your HIV-acquisition risk is low, assuming the latex condoms were used properly and did not break. Oral sex carries only a very low risk for HIV transmission/acquisition. Most guidelines would suggest that a negative HIV-antibody test at the three-month mark would be considered a true negative. However, if there were extenuating circumstances or a significant HIV exposure, testing out to the six-month mark would be indicated.

If you've been an anxious fearful wreck for seven years, why didn't you just get re-tested for peace of mind? The results of rapid tests are available in just a few minutes, probably less time than it took to complain that I didn't respond to your question seven years ago!

Do I think you are HIV infected? No, I do not. The statistical odds are overwhelmingly in your favor that you are not. However, even if HIV is not your problem, you do have a problem to deal with: guilt! I would strongly advise you level with your husband. It's not only the best way to confront your guilt; it's also the right thing to do. (You are obviously contrite about your actions.) If your anxiety persists, consider psychotherapy (counseling) to help you confront your guilt and anxiety so that "Concerned Housewife" doesn't morph into a "desperate housewife."

Good luck!

Dr. Bob



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