Sex with undetectable
Mar 21, 2011
My partner's first HIV test in a couple of years just came back positive and he is starting medication which I expect he will have excellent adherence to. We had unprotected sex every few months for the last year, although he never ejaculated inside me (I did swallow his semen a handful of times). I tested negative 6 months ago and will test again soon. He thinks the chances I test positive are very small because we always use silicon base lubricants, he did not ejaculated in me and also he has no preseminal fluid. I am trying to understand what the long-term impact of his recent diagnosis is to our sex life. Once his viral load is undetectable and monitored what are the risks of continuing to have sex as we have or perhaps even without him "pulling out"? Do reasonable statistics exists as to infection rates under these conditions? I realize that no guarantees exist and that condoms are always the safer bet. However, other considerations are at play also and I just want to use the best available data to make our own decision, in a way that balances everything and makes sense for us. This must be a fairly common set of circumstances for gay couples, can you point me to specific resources? Thanks,
Response from Dr. Frascino
I would suggest you and your positive-charged buddy read through the information in the archives of this forum where you will find specific chapters devoted to magnetic couples, HIV-sexual transmission, HIV-sexual prevention and other relevant topics. The information there will address the questions you raise. Plus, you will find information about harm-reduction techniques (PEP, PrEP, etc.), which you may wish to consider.
Regarding your HIV status, you will need HIV-antibody testing out to six months from your last unprotected sexual exposure with your virally enhanced buddy to definitively determine if you have acquired the virus or not.
Although the ultimate decision is yours, I would very strongly recommend you use latex condoms for all penetrative sexual activity.
Good luck. Stay well!
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