Mar 11, 2011
Dear Dr. Frascino, I have been in a relationship for four years and during a recent separation from my partner I had unprotected sex with a stranger and I was recently diagnosed with HIV. I have communicated with my partner and he is supportive but he is having a hard time reconciling with me to continue the relationship, he is educated on the risk of exposure but I believe he has other concerns that he is not expressing and I would like to help him have peace of mind whether he takes me back or if he decides to move on. I have thought about going to couples counseling but not sure if he wants this personal concern expressed. He is only 28 years old and sex is a big part of the relationship for him. What will you advice him? I am willing to do whatever it is necessary since I feel responsible for putting him in this situation. I have read all the posting about harm reduction in magnetic couples to make sure he is not exposed to any risk if we get back but I still feel he has other questions that I cannot answer. I am receiving treatment with Isentress and Atripla and I feel fine, I will have my first follow up after starting treatment on 2/15 and will update with my CD4 and viral load count after i get the results. I appreciate the time you take to answer all the questions and the sound advice you give to confused newly diagnosed individual like myself and I hope you can help me bring peace of mind to my negative partner. God bless for all you do.
Response from Dr. Frascino
Sorry to hear about your recent diagnosis.
As for what would I advise your negative partner, I have to say "nothing", as he isn't the one writing in asking for information or advice. You are. I would suggest you give him some space to consider what he wants to do as far as reconciling your relationship. If he has questions or concerns about your positively charged status or being a part of a magnetic couple, encourage him to review the information on this site or to write to me directly with his questions. Even though you may be "willing to do whatever is necessary," the decision to reconcile is not unilateral.
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